Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
