for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We are all done wearing pants today
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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