I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
