I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
