in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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