Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
