I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
