Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
