Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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