i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
