it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
