I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
