I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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