All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
