I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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