But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
