i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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