Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
