No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
