glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Randomize
