Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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