So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
