Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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