Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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