Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
