hell yes lets make some ravioli
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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