Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
