So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
