I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
