Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
