Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
