Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
