OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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