Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
