I hate your face
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
accomplished twins. life is a go
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
