If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
