Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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