she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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