I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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