she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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