Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
