I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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