Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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