He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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