I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
