Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
