oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
