The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
