I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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