allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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