I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
