absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
