i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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