im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
